You know you’re a G-tube parent when...
- Whenever you pick up any child, you automatically try to avoid the tube.
- You get a strange satisfaction out of getting a bubble out when priming the pump.
- Food stains on your child’s shirt aren’t near the collar – they’re next to the belly button.
- You see the bare tummy of a child without a tube and for just a second you think, “What’s wrong with that kid’s stomach!”
- You can get stomach contents squirted all over you and you don’t freak out.
- You kind of enjoy the sound of bubbles venting out of the tummy.
- You feel your kid’s bed is soaked and you hope its pee.
- You’ve ever cut a hole through pajamas to feed a tube through.
- You and your partner have argued over the most effective way to vent a stomach.
- You never have to argue with your child to get them to take a gross tasting medication.
- Even though you know you have to, you still forget sometimes to clamp the extension tube before disconnecting.
- You’ve ever stood in the dark, whispering profanity at a pump that wouldn’t work in the middle of the night.
- You closely examine your child’s stomach contents during venting to see how the food is being digested.
- You are out and ready to feed and realize you have everything you need except the extension set.
- You’re out and forgot the extension set and for just a minute you wonder if you could somehow just squirt the formula straight from the syringe into the tube.
- The pump is off but you still hear beeps in your head.
- You have used medical tape in place of normal tape to seal an envelope.
- You are an expert in guessing the approximate milliliters of any bottle (or bag) of liquid.
- Your house looks like a pharmacy and have a dedicated cabinet for medical supplies.
- You forget to feed your child because you’ve already fed your child.
- You get nervous every time your child slides on their tummy.
- You have yelled, “No! I need the venting syringe! Not the medicine one!”
- You’ve had to hang a T-shirt over the pump in the middle of the night to block the ridiculously bright light from the screen.
- You’ve ever gasped in horror at the sight of blood leaking from around the tube only to realize that its pureed lasagna.
- You know your medical supply people by name.
Please comment below and share your experience with us, or give us a feedback about this article. If you think some tips are not included here, please let us know so that we could share them with the rest.
